After a another long hiatus, here's my worst of last year. I no longer work at a video store, so I haven't had the privilege of seeing every single movie for free, but I still managed to hit up some choice gems on Netflix. I haven't seen Sex and the City 2, The Tourist, or Knight and Day (all of which are supposed to be horrible). So this will be a bottom 5 instead of 7.
Worst Oscar Nominee - Winter's Bone
Jennifer Lawrence's acting is superb here, there's a really gritty feel and look to the whole movie, I like the all character actor supporting cast (including the always underrated John Hawkes - the sheriff's brother from Deadwood or the shop owner from the intro to From Dusk Till Dawn). My problems are pacing (its a very slow, meticulous movie) and the whole plot/character arc of Lawrence' character. No one really changes much, the mystery at hand isn't really compelling, and it just sort of ends in a bittersweet sort of way. Its not a bad movie persay, but I really don't understand how it got an Oscar nomination (well, there are 10 nominees...)
5. Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)
See, remakes of 80s horror movies can be good when improved on and made well. The remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (thanks to R. Lee Ermey) was entertaining on its right, while the Hills Have Eyes remake greatly improved on the original (thanks to Alexandre Aja's direction and a great ensemble cast). This remake improved the visual FX (thanks to commercial/music video director Samuel Bayer) but kept almost the entire original story intact. The resulting CGI/boo scare fest isn't scary or interesting. I'd love to see what a more polished visual director like Tarsem, Zack Snyder, or Fincher could do with Freddy's nightmare worlds...
The other criminal problem is the array of bland, uninteresting "victims." I had high hopes considering the original featured a debuting Johnny Depp as well as the breakout role for Heather Langenkamp. Sadly, I can't honestly remember anything interesting about the various 20somethings in the remake. The only reason this wasn't my least favorite was the performance put in by Jackie Earle Haley. After completely stealing Little Children and Watchmen, Haley is put in the unenviable position of following up on Robert Englund's definitive role as Freddy. Haley toes the line between not straying too far from such an established character and not copying Englund. I just wish the rest of the movie was as strong as his performance.
4. The Last Airbender
Wow... Between the awful casting, multitude of poorly explained characters, and completely rushed story, this was a complete mess. I watched all of the TV show after the movie (its streaming on Netflix), this movie takes the first season of the show (20 episodes at 22 minutes each - a good 350 minutes of story minus padding/credits) and condenses it down into a poorly edited 103 minute movie. The actors are either wooden (Aang, Katara) or horribly miscast (Sokka, Commander Zhao) or both (poor Jackson Rathbone as Sokka). The really complex backstories are glossed over, a lot of the characters are grossly simplified, and although I didnt see it, the 3D conversion was pretty awful.
So why wasn't this my worst of the year? Dev Patel (better known as Slumdog Millionaire) has a lot of whiny, angsty dialogue but seems to be trying really hard as the show's most interesting character, Prince Zuko. The special effects used to convey the various bending arts are top notch and the sets and costumes look really good. Considering the lack of name actors (and the Indian guy from the Daily Show doesn't count), most of the 150 M budget went into visuals and it shows. Too bad the actual movie is a muddled, terrible mess.
3. Marmaduke
This was a conceptual disaster, and I shouldn't be surprised how awful it was. Marmaduke the comic strip has two jokes - he's a really big dog and he's really messy. That's it. Marmaduke the movie stays faithful for about five minutes until the writers realized "we need a plot." What they came up with is this weird dog park that acts like a high school cliche fest where Marmaduke is this angsty outsider whos trying to get the girl and fit in. It honestly has nothing to do with the comic strip besides being about a big dog.
The cast, voice and otherwise, puts forth a decent effort and I was ashamed and embarrassed for the excellent Bill Macy to be slumming it as well as confused as to why Kiefer Sutherland (with his growling voice, hes a good villainous dog) didn't ask Marmaduke where the terrorists were. Also, George Lopez is an unfunny cat stereotype. The movie was generally harmless and nowhere near as completely awful as G-Fore or completely racist as Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so it wasn't my least favorite. There's this nagging feeling that there was already a family movie starring a big messy dog from my childhood that I sort of like....
Oh yeah, freaking Beethoven (and his 'pack' of sequels) did this whole concept already and was a much better and enjoyable movie. Now I hope we can avoid Baby Geniuses 3: The Family Circus Movie.
2. Furry Vengeance
Oh Brendan Fraser... You are a talented physical comedian who 'can' act (like in Gods and Monsters for example) but insist on mugging your way through these awful family comedies. I'm all for environmental movies (like the well made A Civil Action or Medicine Man) when done right, but this was as subtle as a taser to the groin. This was brought to you by the director of the dreadful Raven Symone/Martin Lawrence effort, College Road Trip, so I shouldn't have been that surprised how bad it was.
Here's Furry Vengeance - terrible CGI/puppet animals humiliate and terrorize Fraser's real estate agent, no one believes him, and many, many awful pratfalls ensue. Even the usually hilarious Ken Jeong can't save this complete mess and I don't know why Brooke Shields un retired to co star here. There's also a fairly unsubtle bunch of awful stereotypes populating the supporting cast. The terrible cherry is the awful music, including a covers of Insane in the Brain and the infamous Rednex version of Cotton Eyed Joe.
I do understand that this movie was aimed at the under 10 set (and if you substitute Fraser for Yogi Bear, its an eerily similar plot in ways to that movie) and I might have found a lot of the slapstick a lot funnier if I was in the right age range. That doesn't excuse the movie from being lazy, sloppy, and boring. However, it wasn't my least favorite of the year...
1. When In Rome
I think that this was the overall worst movie bar none of 2010. Its lazy, uninspired, poorly acted, and completely wastes Kristen Bell (who has talent and needs to avoid the Kate Hudson career path). The plot setup - Bell is at a wedding in Rome when she gets drunk and takes some coins out of the fountain where you wish for love. This means that the men who threw them instantly fall in love with her. Including the charismaless Josh Duhamel (a member of the Channing Tatum school of "attractive blandness") as a character there to "fall in love" is bad.
The other people who's coins were stolen include a sausage magnate (Danny DeVito), an artist (Will Arnett), a magician (Jon Heder), and a vain workout obsessive (Dax Shepard). I know what you're thinking: "This setup seems hammy and stupid, so I'm certainly glad they have noted models of restraint Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, and Dax Shepard on board." Oh, wait....
This is painfully painfully awful and unfunny. We get constant declarations of love between Duhamel and Bell (not magical-coin-love, but what's meant to be actual real love) between people who effectively don't know each other. Bell responds to being stalked by the much older Danny DeVito with a sort of "ah, well" resignation. Stock characters like the snarky waitress, the wacky assistant, and the schlubby best friend all show up. We even get the alleged comedy of funny accents, a bunch of people stuck in a tiny car, people tripping and falling down ... it is a complete and total waste of everyone involved, and not even the usually reliable Will Arnett can salvage any dignity.
Overall, please, don't waste your life, avoid When In Rome, and instead watch the best of the best from 2010. Coming next.
That's fortunately all I have to say about that.
