Neo Noir Fun!

Vengance (2009) and Bunraku (2010)

If you haven't heard of either of these films, well, you aren't alone. Both had tiny theatrical releases in the US and although Bunraku featured known stars like Josh Hartnett, Demi Moore, and Woody Harrelson, no one seemed to care much.

Film noir as a genre is one that I feel like I enjoy even though I haven't seen many of the classic Hollywood film noir pictures. Its also a really tough genre to pin down... Although everything I've read consistently states that film noirs feature antiheroes, tough moral decisions, low key lighting, use of shadow and contrast, interesting camerawork... Apparently whole books have been devoted to find out whats actually noir.

The two things I found interesting during research was that two of what I call noir archetypes aren't actually considered film noir. Or to restate, what two characters would you most think of if I said "name a basic film noir character"? Both the hard boiled detective and the sultry femme fatale are apparently not original to film noir. My favorite description from the 50s was that all true noirs involve dream-like, strange, erotic, ambivalent, and cruel plot devices...

Anyhow, both of the above movies I'd place in the "neo noir" genre... Two of the most prevalent issues in neo noir are identity crises and questions of subjectivity as well as technological problems and social ramifications. Some of my absolute favorite movies have some basis in neo noir - looking over my shelf, films like Blade Runner, Dark City, Fargo, Memento, Out of Sight, Reservoir Dogs, Se7en, Minority Report... the list goes on and on...

So because most people probably haven't seen either Vengeance or Bunraku, I'll keep the plot descriptions light and try to be as spoiler free as possible....

Vengeance is a French-Hong Kong collaboration by prolific and acclaimed filmmaker Johnnie To. I am not familiar with any of To's other movies, but the biggest strength of Vengeance is the direction. The film's visual style just floored me at times. Its hard to explain, but think John Woo if he just got done watching a Sergio Leone marathon.

To has a talent for shooting "cool machismo" and in a era of silly wire work/bullet time fighting, it was super refreshing just to watch guys shooting pistols at each other. To’s brilliant emphasis on sound (or lack of), lighting, hero shots, slick angles and slow motion made the pow-pow bits highly memorable (the showdown near scrapyard is cool). There’s one gun party set in a forest, sporadically illuminated by moon light with no sound other than gun fire that's just breathtaking.

As far as the plot, it involves Vengeance... Without giving anything away past the first few minutes, it involves an older man (played by Johnny Halladay, the french equivalent to Elvis) who's daughter and family are gunned down by three Triad hitmen. The man, Costello, swears vengeance, and spends the rest of the movie trying to avenge their deaths by tracking down both the hitmen and their boss.

Hallyday made for an above the norm anti hero. With his emotion filled eyes, nonthreatening physique (the guy is in his mid 60s - far cry from an Arnold type) and a face that says “yes I’ve lived the hard life got a problem with that” he was ideal for the role. Special props to go three To regulars: Anthony Wong, Ka Tung Lam and Suet Lam. This quirky trio all shared an electrifying chemistry and gelled with Hallyday’s acting style effortlessly. Wong in particular really stood out – talk about an awesome screen presence. I'd never seen him before but I really loved his intense performance.

However, despite all this, Vengeance falls into the same "revenge" plot that's been done. There are a bunch of plot/logic holes here too (a lot of "Hollywood" aiming in certain scenes) as well as a total lack of police anywhere in the movie. Finally, although the movie has a lot of violent gunplay, the actual bullet impacts resemble a paintball fight more often then not. Although given the poetic nature of the film, that may be what they were going for.


Bunraku also relies on interesting visuals, although Guy Moshe seems to be going for a Sin City style Kurosawa film. The basic plot here is that in the future, all guns are outlawed after world war 3 so society basically backtracks to a quasi feudal system like ancient China. A woodcutter named Nicola comes to rise as warlord of all the world "East of the Atlantic" and hes got nine deadly killers as well as an army of red suited goons to back him up. The heroes are a no named drifter played by Josh Hartnett as well as a samurai played by Gackt (a super famous Japanese musician) who begrudgingly team up to take down Nicola (underplayed beautifully by Ron Perlman).

Its really difficult to describe the visual flair and style of Bunraku. Its a super rich, colorful film unlike Sin City but it features a similar stylistic approach. There's a great melding of animation and live action, also touching on classic western motifs and definitely oddly enough the musicals of the 50s and 60s. Although Hartnett and Gackt both look cool and have unique fighting styles, I didn't really get into them characterwise... they both have motivation, but they aren't very deep interesting people, mostly there to fight there quirky killers and armies of red shirted mooks.

Three things really elevate this movie beyond the average martial arts fight fest. I really loved Woody Harrelson as the bartender... He has great comic timing without being annoying, I felt like he had the most interesting backstory and character arc... Harrelson is a tricky actor to use properly but between Zombieland a couple years ago and now this its good to see him getting such good work. Will Patton plays the omniscient narrator and the narrator is almost his own character in the movie. Since good chunks are told in a quasi animated flashback, Patton's narration carries the movie through some of the more non linear perspectives (I love him in the opening too).

Finally, for me, the true standout and absolute scene stealer of the movie is Scottish actor Kevin McKidd as Killer #2. He mixes the danger and ruthlessness of Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs with the charm and grace of Fred Astaire and is a super uniquely cool adversary. If you unfamiliar with McKidd (beyond his current role in Grays Anatomy) I'd recommend his star making turn as the lead in Dog Soldiers. I'm serious that the character belongs in the Darth Maul group of "awesome bad guy henchmen (maybe a future blog post there)" and is super memorable, especially points of the climactic fight scene.

So what doesn't work about Bunraku? Demi Moore seems bored, out of place and wasted as Harrelson's love interest. I wish Perlman was in the movie a bit more and he had a little more backstory to play. The fights with the 9 killers for the most part are really well handled, however, some of the fights against the armies of mook henchmen could have been cut down. Finally, there are a ton of plot holes here, but the point is more on the visual/feel and fighting rather then strong script. Gackt's character in particular is so archetypal I feel like I've seen him in dozens of other movies (Hartnett gets less focus and has less dialogue so I actually enjoyed him more). If you enjoy kung fu movies and or Sin City or want to see a memorable villain and an epic Hartnett mustaches, check out Bunraku.

So we'll see what we get next in the old Netflix queue. I'm really looking forward to Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale as well as 30 minutes or less. It was just ironic that these two movies literally almost came back to back. Until next time, that's all I have to say about that..


Patrick

Top movies of 2010

Sorry its almost the end of 2011 but it took me a long long time to catch up on all the Oscar Nominees and important movies of 2010 (this blog has slowed down a lot because I just don't watch as many movies as I used to since Hollywood Video went out of business - 1 at a time Netflix doesn't provide as many opportunities).

So without further ado:

Let The Right One In Award - (Foreign film made prior to the current year but released domestically later) - Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

This movie completely blew me away and I'm not one of the scores of people that read the books first. Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander sublimely becomes the character, the violence and peril seem very intense and real, and the movie takes its time setting up a fairly complex story and establishes a bleak mood with the harsh landscape. Yep, its subtitled in Swedish and yes, the penultimate rape scene is really tough to watch, but the redemption from said scene is amazingly badass. Beyond the fact that American audiences apparently can't handle subtitles at all, I have no idea why this movie is being remade (although David Fincher is an inspired choice for director and the previews look really good, plus its being released in prime "oscar bait" late December slot).


Just missed the cut - The Town (really well made/acted, but not that original - a little too close to Heat), Four Lions (a little uneven and strangely paced, yet had some of blackest and most memorable comedic scenes of any movie that Ive seen - sort of like a modern Dr. Strangelove), and How to Train Your Dragon (first Dreamworks movie to totally blow me away and contain no annoying smirky pop culture jokes)

So without further ado....

7. Machete

Robert Rodriguez's missing Grindhouse flick and Danny Trejo's finest hour, this movie was so enjoyable and fun. Yes, there was a little too much plot, a few too many superfluous characters, and actually tried to have a semi-serious political message (all problems that hurt Once Upon a Time in Mexico). But this sort of super kinetic campy action fest provides Rodriguez ample opportunity to use his active imagination. The cast including a host of Rodriguez favorites like Trejo and Cheech Marin are joined by Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, and Robert DeNiro. I almost wish this movie was with Planet Terror for Grindhouse with Death Proof being a fake trailer.

6. Toy Story 3

Up and Wall-E were more mature, the Incredibles had better action, and Monsters Inc and the second Toy Story had a little better humor, but Toy Story 3 balances the mature, action, and humor elements the best of any Pixar movie to date. Its the rare second sequel that improves on the original on almost every level.

Whereas the first movie had no major antagonist and the second had a comical one with Zerg, Lots O' Hugging Bear joins the rank of memorable Disney villains. Between Michael Keaton's brilliant turn as Ken, the various transformations of Mr. Potatohead, and a certain ethnic mode of Buzz, there's some of the best G rated humor in any movie. For me, its the raw emotion and finality in certain scenes (obviously the stuff in dumpster, but also the ending and beginning bits with Andy) that push this over the top.

There are a ton of characters, both new and old, but all the characters get a moment to shine, including Buzz and Woody. Its the rare movie that seems busy without being over plotted or over crowded and unlike the Dreamworks films, the celebrities are cast for vocal quality rather then just their celebrity status. Finally, I enjoy that Disney has kept producing Toy Story shorts to go before their subsequent movies. There's no way that a fourth movie could ever live up to this, but Disney started with theatrical shorts, so I like that Pixar is continuing that tradition. Also, I think this was the best picture nominee thats the best overall movie, but I personally liked one a bit better...

5. Inception

See, this has been reviewed to death, so I wanted to say first that I genuinely liked this movie, but its not number one because I feel like it kept holding back for the most part. Christopher Nolan is an intensely cerebral filmmaker with dense plots, multi dimensional characters, and deeply thematically stories populating all his films (even his worst work in Insomnia was a great study of character and theme). The funny thing is, as much I liked Inception, I liked Memento, Dark Knight, and maybe even the Prestige a bit more.

Now don't get me wrong, this movie is brilliant, with an amazing concept and a fantastic cast. Its tough to describe standouts, but a focused Joseph Gordon Levitt and an intensely likeable Tom Hardy headline for me. The last hour or so of the movie is one long pulse pounding series of action sequences (highlighted by everyone's favorite zero G hotel fight). I also enjoy the ambiguity of the ending as well as the general movie... the actual machine doesn't get a giant amount of explanation and I think the exposition level is perfect. Like Memento and the Prestige, you have to pay attention to fully appreciate all levels of the plot. Finally, the amazingly ominous music helps to ratchet up the suspense, the score is almost its own entity in this flick.

So... why isn't this my favorite? I think the whole concept of the reality of dreams is fairly underutilized. Compare this to inferior movies like the Cell or What Dreams May Come and the dreams for the most part seem far too rational and linear. I also found the character of Mal to be a fairly weak villain and I'm surprised that how proficient Joseph Gordon Levitt's character was that he never figured out DiCaprio's secret in that respect. Finally, I think the first hour of the movie is fairly slow... there's a lot of setup and exposition for the final hour. Now, these sorts of sequences can be done well (Ellen Page's character's introduction to the dream world is a good example) but considering the somber tone of the movie, to me I was just waiting for the "good stuff" to start. But overall, a very imaginative, well told movie.

4. 127 hours

Man, this is a tough one, because I really, really liked this movie but I feel like I never need to see it again (but I will). When movies take you to a place where you have to realize its just a movie and not something real, its a special experience and the penultimate moment in 127 hours brought me to that raw, emotional state.

Why James Franco didn't win the Best Actor Oscar Statue for this is beyond me... (apparently the Academy rewards stuttering Brits over the emotional tour de force that was this flick)... Its literally 95% Franco with the star being on screen for literally the whole movie and for the last hour+ alone. After seeing the 60 minutes based on the actual events and reading the book and being pretty familiar with the story, I totally forgot I was watching Franco instead of Aron Ralston pretty quickly.

Credit has to go to Danny Boyle too... The guy has brought epic scope to movies like Slumdog Millionaire and 28 days later, yet with the limitations of shooting a movie that spends the middle 45-50 minutes in a tiny canyon, the direction and cinematography was exceptional. It never felt boring or limited and actually was amazingly gripping. I also didn't start playing armchair quarterback and questioning Franco's decisions... the guy seemed really capable and bright despite the awful situation...

Its a tough flick to sit through and really gritty, but in the end an amazing triumph. The climax actually feels uplifting rather then the downer it could have been (and after listening to and reading Ralston's account, I feel like they nailed the general tone).

3. Kick Ass

Speaking of uneven movies... I own this movie, I really enjoy it, I think especially the latter half is a great superhero comedy/deconstruction (I felt a bunch of jabs to Raimi's Spiderman series in particular). However, like Inception, I really feel like the opening third of this movie is a bunch of cliche recycled "high school" jokes that we've seen a bunch before. Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse's character is irritating, Mark Strong (who is contractually obligated to play the heavy in 2 big budget studio movies per year) makes for a bland villain, and we get a big side of Nick Cage ham...

So why do I love this movie (besides the breakout performance of Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl)? Well, the movie is called Kick Ass and the director got the right guy to play the titular hero, Aaron Johnson. At only nineteen while shooting, this breakout role could catapult Johnson to the same league as someone like Ryan Gosling, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He’s funny as the impossibly geeky hero, but what’s great about Johnson is that he’s also able to pull off some of the more dramatic scenes after this takes a dark turn during the final act.

Now, some people may complain that the tone of the film is inconsistent, but it worked for me, as there is a certain point when the film starts to take itself somewhat seriously, but thanks to the skill both in front and behind the camera, the transition is seamless.

Another great thing about Kick Ass is the use of music. Judging from his brilliant use of music in Layer Cake (Duran Duran was never so epic), Vaughn knows how to choose tracks for his films. Obviously, he took a lot of care selecting the soundtrack, with the film having three credited composers, in addition to a whole slew of source music from artists ranging from The Prodigy, New York Dolls, an epic sample from the 28 Days Later Soundtrack, and even Ennio Morricone’s Clint Eastwood theme from Fistfull of Dollars gets a work out. The film also has a gorgeous, wildly colorful look courtesy of cinematographer Ben Davis who also shot Vaughn’s other films. I was lucky enough to see this projected digitally, and the look was outstanding.

All in all, I found Kick Ass to be an incredibly fun time at the movies, its not particularly deep, but its a really, fun original superhero ride.

2. Scott Pilgrim vs The World

From the moment the iconic Universal logo unfurls in 8-bit style with MIDI fanfare, before making way for a Bill Hader narration and a musical cue from "The Legend of Zelda," you should know you're in for one of the most geek-friendly movies in recent history. But its for more then geeks...

Now, I'll get it out of the way, I'm not a big fan of Michael Cera, but he's an inspired choice for the titular role as Scott Pilgrim. It's not an easy challenge as Pilgrim isn't exactly a flawless protagonist. He makes poor choices, hurts people and generally falls into many 20something emotional pitfalls . But we always connect with him and relate to what he's going with and that speaks volumes to Cera's skills not just as a comic actor (his timing here is impeccable) but his dramatic chops as well.

The rest of the cast, including Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong, Kieran Culkin and Jason Schwartzman are so good it's easy to think that any of them could be the breakout star of the film. Chris Evans and Brandon Routh in particular completely steal the movie for their sequences. But fantastic cast aside, the real breakout star of Scott Pilgrim is the director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, Edgar Wright.

Wright has framed the film so it plays out something like a musical. We're in a relatively real and grounded world but instead of people breaking out into song and dance, they break out into massive fight sequences. And the action sequences are so brilliantly conceived, you never once flinch at the notion of Michael Cera kicking the ass of seven henchmen, Mary Elizabeth Winstead doing battle with a giant hammer or a Bollywood-style song/fight. Its a completely original series of spectacles (my minor gripe is after the Routh/Evans sequences, the final fight is a skosh anticlimactic).

But honestly, all the cool action sequences in the world wouldn't make the flick worth without an emotional center and Cera brings that as Scott. I might sound like Im repeating myself, but his mistakes, stupid choices, and broken heart carries the movie between the fights. In fact, for a film that deals so heavily with pop culture and 20somethings, at its core, Scott Pilgrim is, dare I say it, a fairly adult film. Its about growing up and falling in love, choices, taking responsibility, coming to terms with the past and ultimately finding yourself. While taking on the seven evil exes, Scott isn't just defeating Ramona's past but his own demons as well.

The music will make your feet tap (epic contributions by Beck and Metric), the battles will make you cheer, the romance will warm your heart and, in the end, this movie will kick your ass (apologies to #3). It's one of the best films of the year and a movie I just absolutely loved.

1. Piranha 3D

This movie was perfect. There, I'll say it. Perfect. Is the technically best acted, best effects, best directed movie ever? Hell, no. But as far as... Did this movie accomplish what it set out to? Unequivocally yes!!!

I saw this in the theaters at a weekday matinee and it completely blew me away at every level. It was funny, scary, sexy, gory, all the actors "got it", well paced, pushed the American "R" rating right to the limit...

I'm not even sure where to start... Steve McQueen's grandson played the "hero" and he did a commendable job with the "straight" character and it was good to see Elizabeth Shue back in a leading role. However, all the supporting parts (and some are really more like extended cameos then anything else, sort of throwing back to the star studded 70s disaster movies) are what brought this home... In a scant 88 minutes, we get a badass Ving Rhames, a Jaws throwback Richard Dreyfuss, Dina Meyers, Eli Roth, comedian Paul Scheer, Adam Scott.... but for me, the two standouts were Jerry O'Connell playing a loud mouth, abusive, self centered asshole antagonist and Christopher Lloyd in an all too brief role as the "scientist" just completely channeling his inner Doc Brown...

The other star to me is horror phenomena director Alexandre Aja's technical work. The man brought me my favorite original horror film of the last 10 years (High Tension) and my favorite American remake (Hills Have Eyes) and he brought his skills to the table here as well. The flick was snazzyly shot, with stylish camera moves, sleek cinematography and gnarly Piranha POV shots (that reminded me a lot of the fact that original was a Roger Corman Jaws knockoff).

Aja is no stranger at generating tension(quasi pun intended)/suspense and delivering potent shocks and even though this is a much lighter tone then his previous work... I caught myself teetering on the edge of my seat many o times and even though the characters were two dimensional at best, I felt antsy for some of them and didn’t want “some” to buy the farm. To achieve that level of involvement with the characters with this goofy of a film... props go to Aja.

Finally, the special effects were bang on! As per usual, master gore peddlers KNB knocked the gory goods out of the park and the Piranha CGI did the trick design & execution wise. The film was shot in 3D and there were some memorable Piranha gore gags in 3D (that still look fairly decent at home). I was frankly shocked and amazed at the level of gore that the climax reached within the confines of a R rating. I'm not going to spoil that part, but if you enjoy nasty spirited kills and plentiful mutilation, the final act delivers in spades!

If Im going to nitpick at all, the score was pretty unmemorable and the characters make some dumb "horror movie character" mistakes. But to me, the latter was part of the charm. Its a crowd pleasing, man's movie that brings the boobs (yep, we finally get back to the horror movie nudity too) and blood in spades while wearing its inspiration on its sleeve.

On a post script note, Im looking forward to Piranha 3DDs (the sequel) and I hope it comes out in August 2012 as it would make a perfect late summer capper to the people tired of the onslaught of sequels/remakes/Snow White movies of 2012.

As its now a new year, my 2011 recap won't be up for a while... I am planning on seeing all the 2011 Academy Awards Best Picture nominees before I write my top 7 list. As I only have the 1 at a time Netflix, this might take a while. My New Year's Resolution is to finish my best of 2011 before New Year's 2012...

Take care and thanks for reading

Patrick

Worst Movies of 2010

Hello,

After a another long hiatus, here's my worst of last year. I no longer work at a video store, so I haven't had the privilege of seeing every single movie for free, but I still managed to hit up some choice gems on Netflix. I haven't seen Sex and the City 2, The Tourist, or Knight and Day (all of which are supposed to be horrible). So this will be a bottom 5 instead of 7.

Worst Oscar Nominee - Winter's Bone

Jennifer Lawrence's acting is superb here, there's a really gritty feel and look to the whole movie, I like the all character actor supporting cast (including the always underrated John Hawkes - the sheriff's brother from Deadwood or the shop owner from the intro to From Dusk Till Dawn). My problems are pacing (its a very slow, meticulous movie) and the whole plot/character arc of Lawrence' character. No one really changes much, the mystery at hand isn't really compelling, and it just sort of ends in a bittersweet sort of way. Its not a bad movie persay, but I really don't understand how it got an Oscar nomination (well, there are 10 nominees...)

5. Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)

See, remakes of 80s horror movies can be good when improved on and made well. The remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (thanks to R. Lee Ermey) was entertaining on its right, while the Hills Have Eyes remake greatly improved on the original (thanks to Alexandre Aja's direction and a great ensemble cast). This remake improved the visual FX (thanks to commercial/music video director Samuel Bayer) but kept almost the entire original story intact. The resulting CGI/boo scare fest isn't scary or interesting. I'd love to see what a more polished visual director like Tarsem, Zack Snyder, or Fincher could do with Freddy's nightmare worlds...

The other criminal problem is the array of bland, uninteresting "victims." I had high hopes considering the original featured a debuting Johnny Depp as well as the breakout role for Heather Langenkamp. Sadly, I can't honestly remember anything interesting about the various 20somethings in the remake. The only reason this wasn't my least favorite was the performance put in by Jackie Earle Haley. After completely stealing Little Children and Watchmen, Haley is put in the unenviable position of following up on Robert Englund's definitive role as Freddy. Haley toes the line between not straying too far from such an established character and not copying Englund. I just wish the rest of the movie was as strong as his performance.


4. The Last Airbender

Wow... Between the awful casting, multitude of poorly explained characters, and completely rushed story, this was a complete mess. I watched all of the TV show after the movie (its streaming on Netflix), this movie takes the first season of the show (20 episodes at 22 minutes each - a good 350 minutes of story minus padding/credits) and condenses it down into a poorly edited 103 minute movie. The actors are either wooden (Aang, Katara) or horribly miscast (Sokka, Commander Zhao) or both (poor Jackson Rathbone as Sokka). The really complex backstories are glossed over, a lot of the characters are grossly simplified, and although I didnt see it, the 3D conversion was pretty awful.

So why wasn't this my worst of the year? Dev Patel (better known as Slumdog Millionaire) has a lot of whiny, angsty dialogue but seems to be trying really hard as the show's most interesting character, Prince Zuko. The special effects used to convey the various bending arts are top notch and the sets and costumes look really good. Considering the lack of name actors (and the Indian guy from the Daily Show doesn't count), most of the 150 M budget went into visuals and it shows. Too bad the actual movie is a muddled, terrible mess.

3. Marmaduke

This was a conceptual disaster, and I shouldn't be surprised how awful it was. Marmaduke the comic strip has two jokes - he's a really big dog and he's really messy. That's it. Marmaduke the movie stays faithful for about five minutes until the writers realized "we need a plot." What they came up with is this weird dog park that acts like a high school cliche fest where Marmaduke is this angsty outsider whos trying to get the girl and fit in. It honestly has nothing to do with the comic strip besides being about a big dog.

The cast, voice and otherwise, puts forth a decent effort and I was ashamed and embarrassed for the excellent Bill Macy to be slumming it as well as confused as to why Kiefer Sutherland (with his growling voice, hes a good villainous dog) didn't ask Marmaduke where the terrorists were. Also, George Lopez is an unfunny cat stereotype. The movie was generally harmless and nowhere near as completely awful as G-Fore or completely racist as Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so it wasn't my least favorite. There's this nagging feeling that there was already a family movie starring a big messy dog from my childhood that I sort of like....

Oh yeah, freaking Beethoven (and his 'pack' of sequels) did this whole concept already and was a much better and enjoyable movie. Now I hope we can avoid Baby Geniuses 3: The Family Circus Movie.

2. Furry Vengeance

Oh Brendan Fraser... You are a talented physical comedian who 'can' act (like in Gods and Monsters for example) but insist on mugging your way through these awful family comedies. I'm all for environmental movies (like the well made A Civil Action or Medicine Man) when done right, but this was as subtle as a taser to the groin. This was brought to you by the director of the dreadful Raven Symone/Martin Lawrence effort, College Road Trip, so I shouldn't have been that surprised how bad it was.

Here's Furry Vengeance - terrible CGI/puppet animals humiliate and terrorize Fraser's real estate agent, no one believes him, and many, many awful pratfalls ensue. Even the usually hilarious Ken Jeong can't save this complete mess and I don't know why Brooke Shields un retired to co star here. There's also a fairly unsubtle bunch of awful stereotypes populating the supporting cast. The terrible cherry is the awful music, including a covers of Insane in the Brain and the infamous Rednex version of Cotton Eyed Joe.

I do understand that this movie was aimed at the under 10 set (and if you substitute Fraser for Yogi Bear, its an eerily similar plot in ways to that movie) and I might have found a lot of the slapstick a lot funnier if I was in the right age range. That doesn't excuse the movie from being lazy, sloppy, and boring. However, it wasn't my least favorite of the year...


1. When In Rome

I think that this was the overall worst movie bar none of 2010. Its lazy, uninspired, poorly acted, and completely wastes Kristen Bell (who has talent and needs to avoid the Kate Hudson career path). The plot setup - Bell is at a wedding in Rome when she gets drunk and takes some coins out of the fountain where you wish for love. This means that the men who threw them instantly fall in love with her. Including the charismaless Josh Duhamel (a member of the Channing Tatum school of "attractive blandness") as a character there to "fall in love" is bad.

The other people who's coins were stolen include a sausage magnate (Danny DeVito), an artist (Will Arnett), a magician (Jon Heder), and a vain workout obsessive (Dax Shepard). I know what you're thinking: "This setup seems hammy and stupid, so I'm certainly glad they have noted models of restraint Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, and Dax Shepard on board." Oh, wait....

This is painfully painfully awful and unfunny. We get constant declarations of love between Duhamel and Bell (not magical-coin-love, but what's meant to be actual real love) between people who effectively don't know each other. Bell responds to being stalked by the much older Danny DeVito with a sort of "ah, well" resignation. Stock characters like the snarky waitress, the wacky assistant, and the schlubby best friend all show up. We even get the alleged comedy of funny accents, a bunch of people stuck in a tiny car, people tripping and falling down ... it is a complete and total waste of everyone involved, and not even the usually reliable Will Arnett can salvage any dignity.

One more thing, the movie actually has a false ending, and this is not a movie that should have a false ending, because the realization that the movie is not yet over is not a happy one. For another thing, when Beth's father is introduced, they use a movie-star reveal, with camera work that says, "Aaaaand in the role of Beth's father, it's ... DON JOHNSON!" I mean, you can get away with that, maybe, if Beth's father is being played by Dustin Hoffman or Harvey Keitel or some other really talented actor who owes the director a favor. But Don Johnson?

Overall, please, don't waste your life, avoid When In Rome, and instead watch the best of the best from 2010. Coming next.

That's fortunately all I have to say about that.